As soon as the news of the new GM joining was out, the first thing that team did was LinkedIn search. And what followed were some astrological delights by the team“ Aha ABC college, must be snobbish” “ XYZ company tough boss culture” “ From the picture he looks like a no nonsense person” ……
Without knowing, each one was “ Being judgemental” . This word belongs to a family of words which we are very familiar with and use them often – but it is difficult to define them. More difficult is to understand them deeply. Other words that fall in this category are – love, life, brave, connection, choice etc to name a few.
The movie buff I am, first time this word got my attention was in the movie English Vinglish, where the lead actress was enquiring about the meaning of this word from her niece. And from there on it stayed in my mind, kept coming back to me in different ways and kept me wondering
Formal definition “Forming an opinion about someone based on a situation/appearance”
While some of it is harmless and just for fun, but a large part of it is grave and deep for each one of us.
- “The fear of being judged, has held more captives than what all wars put together would have ever had”
“What will people say, they will laugh at me, I will make a fool of myself, will people like what I share….the list goes on. The fear of being judged is what holds us back in our cages and restricts us from doing things the way we want to.
Without much realisation we live our life from these “ What if “ frames and these unknown fears are something that holds us back and comes in our way of living fully.
- The more intense and regular judgements we pass about others – directly reflects how unhappy or unsatisfied we are with some parts of our own lives.
Rather than addressing our own spots- that would require some work, it’s easier to be critical for others.
“ I don’t understand how can he/she be so cool all the time- it’s so fake, he/she is always everyone’s favourite- he/she is always sweet talking, he/she is so stupid, I would never do something like this…….
- Two sides of the same coin
We may struggle for opinions about us, but we are critical of others so often. What often is considered healthy gossip is unconscious judgements that we pass about others. These are two sides of the same coin – A person living his/her life free of all judgement barrier will be accepting towards others and will not be critical of their actions/behaviors.