Sometime back I took on an informal research assignment for my understanding of “What drives people?” People here included everyone- family, colleagues, friends, neighbours. I did prepare few questions around the topic, the first one being “What do you really like doing? Something that you are never bored or tired of? “
It amazed me a great deal to see how much time people were taking to respond to this simple yet powerful question. There were few who discarded the question as being silly and responded by saying “a lot of things”. Few probably had to take some time off to get to the answer. Well, I could not proceed with my research as desired but rather got diverted to think in a new direction – how difficult was my question and are we really so lost to not realise what we like doing? “Do we really know ourselves enough?”
Think of our childhood- we knew exactly what we wanted, didn’t really matter who thinks what or what is expected from us. We would ask for food when hungry, cry when sleepy, showing our anger when we were upset. We were born with this clarity, or expressing came naturally to us – then when does it gets so complicated that one has to think before responding “What do you like”
It’s difficult to pinpoint when did this all start to happen, but the reality is in our constant efforts of fitting in, we slowly move away from the best and most powerful version of self.
During our lives knowingly or unknowingly we wear so many masks that it gets difficult at times to connect to ourselves. And before we realise, we are far away from our true identity and become a stranger to ourselves.
It’s been long pretending, have forgotten who I really am.
Our life experiences, our beliefs have shaped each one of us in a unique manner. Everyone has strengths, traits and thoughts that separates us from others. For full and peaceful living it is important to recognise those and accept those.
Human mind is a complex creation and often while lot of time is invested in understanding other’s little or no time is invested in knowing self. For me it’s about being in harmony with self-first and then to the outside world.
We need to be self-aware – simply put knowing what we like, dislike, what scares us, what makes me happy. In a nutshell “Who am I”
The more we know about self, the better we are at adapting life changes and understanding others. Often when we are unhappy in our relations, its because we are unhappy with ourselves. When we doubt ourselves and expect others to trust us- that’s where the mismatch happens and distances creep.
Knowing self helps us use our strengths better, develop where we can, and avoid tasks/situations where we are unskilled or just plain unsuited.
Being self-aware means being authentic to ourselves- about who we really are. This authenticity makes us a more grounded and genuine person.
From simple things to complex it is important we understand ourselves first and then the outside world. Various research talk about self-awareness being the new winning edge in relationships, work and life. For starters this will be key to a peaceful life- and for me that’s a winning stroke.